Broke Fuckboys!

What’s worse than a fuckboy? A BROKE fuckboy!

I was scrolling through my facebook posts and came across a status update which made me think. It said:

“A woman who desires a successful and financially stable man is not a goldigger, she’s a woman with sense. What woman in her right mind wants some watless 2 bit wasteman? If she loves herself she’s going to want to see more from you then a mixtape and a giro. The only men that seem to have an issue with this are men that have nothing to offer a woman”

I couldn’t agree with this statement more. It’s bad enough that we have to deal with fuckboys. Why are we having to deal with McDonald’s dick too? #LONG

It’s quite sad that I have had dealings with a broke fuckboys (probably more than I would like to even waste my time talking about). All I want to say is don’t ever let anybody make you feel bad for wanting to have a man MATCH your hustle/success. Let me break it down.

If you have no job, not a qualification to your name, yet you go on a national hunt for footballers or bankers or men who drive nice cars etc… and you go out of your way to bag these type of men by offering what’s in between your legs. You MAY be a gold digger. While I believe it is a good look to reach for a man who is successful and ambitious. It is probably wise to reach for these same said goals personally first.

I am not a gold digger, however, I have worked incredibly hard in my career to be able to afford a certain lifestyle. Please don’t ever get it twisted. I am NOT rich. But I can treat myself to a luxury or 2 i.e- a really nice holiday or eat at a fancy restaurant.

– If you get with a guy who cannot afford to pay for (let’s just say his OWN meal- because I don’t want to get into a debate of men paying for women’s meals)

– If he cannot afford the lifestyle you have worked so hard to set up for yourself, why would you get with this fuckboy and have him drag you down?

One of 3 things will happen here either:

– You end up supporting him (which drains you emotionally and financially)

– You have to MATCH his affordability (#DEAD) Moving backwards much?

– He punches above his weight and leaves himself potentially bankrupt (highly unlikely)

Let’s look at Kylie Jenner for example. Love her or hate her, we all thought she was the ultimate DICKHEAD for even staying with Tyga for so long. This loser couldn’t even afford (or just chose not to) to pay his son’s nanny and we all called him Mr Jenner! It just says a lot about you as an individual. People respect POWER couples. Kim/Kanye, JayZ/Beyonce, Will/Jada, George/Amal.

We almost lost our minds when Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon. When Britney married Kevin Federline. They just scream “opportunists”. I have on many occasions tried to keep an open mind about the type on men that I date. Whether that be race, body type, financial status. But I always tend to go with the male who has money. No gold digger shit…

Let me explain:

I am in no way saying all men who are not YET financially comfortable have no business dating a woman who is currently MORE successful. Look at Tiny and TI for example. Tiny was in a successful RNB group XSCAPE when she met TI, who at the time was not a known rapper. I don’t know exactly what he was doing at the time he met Tiny (I can only guess he was a struggling rapper) but today he has made a very successful name for himself. I’m sure with the help of his wife- I think they’re going through a divorce at the moment.

Even my brother, who when he met his partner 10 years ago was fresh out of jail after doing a 2 year stint in jail for GBH, came out of jail with not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. He met his now finance who supported his dream and together they are now a successful couple. She has a high powered job with the local authorities; my brother is an advocate for delinquent children. He is currently half way through his masters completing his law degree. They are proud home owners of their current property, have 1 daughter and another on the way.

My problem is with broke fuckboys is that are happy with just BEING a broke fuckboy! Those guys who call you on What’s App (when they have wifi) connected or one ring you. One of my favourite bloggers describes these type of fuckboys beautifully The Definitive Guide To Fuckboys

I remember meeting this guy Louis on POF (Plenty Of Fish) who by his pictures looked quite handsome. I remember speaking to him on the phone thinking “is this guy slow?” I (stupidly) let that go over my head. I asked him what he does for a living and he told me he was a part time swimming instructor. So I googled “part time swimming instructor salary” and saw it was estimated around £18k if you are FULL time so I already said to myself, this guy is a waste of my time. I asked him why he wasn’t working full time, was he looking after a child or a relative? Was he signed off sick? He had no reasonable explanation other than he was looking for work. Now this is no business of mine what he wants to do and how he wants to live his life I hear you say. CORRECT! But don’t be asking me out on a date and then asking ME to pay for BOTH our meals! Louis asked me out on a date to a Chinese restaurant. I understood he didn’t have a lot of money so I was fine with the fact that it was local Chinese restaurant across the road from his house. I didn’t want to create a large bill so I just ordered a coke, with some sweet and sour chicken and egg fried rice. The meal for the 2 of us came to a whopping £18. I saw this fool rummage through the pockets counting the sheckles in his hand, reaching towards his front and back pocket. He had managed to come up with a grand total of £3.52p. I was so embarrassed I just handed over my card to the waiter. “I left my wallet at home. I’ll pay you back when we get indoors” he said.

We go back to his house and the first thing I expected him to do was get his wallet and pay me back?! NO! This broke fool got out his smashed iphone 4 which was being held together by cello tape and Jesus Christ himself to go onto Youtube and put on slow jams. He was struggling to charge his phone too as the phone was so badly smashed. He turned the lights off and attempted to feel my leg. I was thinking “Does this nigga think I’m gonna insult my pussy by even giving him some?!” LMAO!

I remember talking to him about my son’s father telling how what-less he is with regards to his son not seeing him as often as he should and not financially contributing (don’t EVER do this btw). He seemed to get very agitated and called me a baby trapper and a gold digger. I gathered he obviously had issues with his own baby’s mother because he had previously touched on the subject that he hasn’t seen his son in well over a year I also gathered he had no money and nothing to offer other than DICK hence why he referred to me as a gold digger and/or he does not contribute financially where his son is concerned. I’m going to assume it’s because he is probably not financially in a position to look after a child or in some way a danger to that child (remember I touched on him sounding slow?) I’m convinced he’s taken too much drugs because although he looked really handsome in his pictures. His hygiene was lets say a 2/10 (his armpits smelt very spicy). His hair was well overdue a trim. His clothes should really never see the light of day and his shoes were practically talking to him yet this guy always had a draw #PRIORITIES!

I still continued to talk to this guy (please don’t ask me why) and I remember him asking me to cook him a home cooked meal. I was up for that. I enjoy cooking. I said he can come round to mine, but he insisted I collect him from his house. “No babe, you’re gonna have to make it to mine. Why don’t you catch an uber or get the train/bus?” I suggested. I have now come to the realisation this broke fuckboy did not even have money to get on the god dammed bus!

He agreed to make it to mine (I guess he thought free food and pussy was worth a bus ride) He came to my house with not a bottle of water or soft drink as a token of appreciation for the home cooked meal I had prepared for him. He came with his two dry hands and asked me where the TV remote was and if I have SKY SPORTS. #Cheek

I made him chicken curry with rice and veg. He finished that in no time. I guess he hadn’t had a home cooked meal in a while. He used most of that evening to talk about his baby’s mother and how evil she was. I asked to give examples but he couldn’t. Just said she took his son away from him. In normal circumstances, maybe even before I had a child of my own. I’ve always been under the impression that any woman who has purposely taken a child away from seeing their father was an evil, manipulative whore and should never have the luxury of baring anymore children. Now that I am a parent and I have for my own personal reasons had to take my son away from a situation that would potentially put his health and safety at risk. I now have to be less judgmental and more open minded, hence why I asked to give examples and he couldn’t. He was literally draining me. Intellectually we could not hold a conversation without him just saying “Yeah…I hear that still” or “seen” I couldn’t believe this guy was 30. I ended up chucking him out my house after he got the hump because I wouldn’t sleep with him “Is something wrong with man?” was his question. I wanted to say “well yes, your armpits could do with a sponge down at the very least. I think you may have some sort of disability and I really don’t fancy having sex right now…actually I do…just not with YOU…because actually, I do think there is something VERY wrong with you” Instead I said “I just don’t think now is the right time. I’m not emotionally available right now to commit to you physically, that may change over time though, I’m sure” Well, that didn’t go down well at all. He started shouting obscenities to me and told me I had wasted his time. I told him to get out of my house because he had no respect. He told me (the ijnfamous quote) “No wonder your baby father wants nothing to do with you” HAHAHAHAHA!!! I blocked him on whats app (no point blocking him from calling as he never has any credit) and I never heard from him again.

Ladies, please don’t waste your time with McDonald’s dick! They’re full of shit (literally) They will emotionally and financially drain you and take you nowhere (apart from a family planning clinic to get rid of something nasty)


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