So I’ve always been super territorial when I’m just at the ‘speaking’ stage with guys. I’m always the one to put all my eggs in one basket. Cut off all my hoes and dedicate my whole time to speaking to just one person, even before it becomes official. I understand not everyone works like that. More often than not, guys will keep more than one girl on the go in case it don’t work out.
No one wants to be in that position of having “no hoes” so most guys will string on a couple chics on the side. Which I’ve come to terms with. However I personally like to only talk exclusively to one person at a time. I even stopped replying to Aidan’s messages.
I recently touched base on talking to Niall in my blog Bro Code? and so far everything was going good. I found myself fantasising about having a life with him. He’s been super attentive and quick with replying to my messages etc… What I’d realised though is he only communicates through sending me voice notes on snap chat. He has my number but barely messages me on what’s app. At first I thought it was because I was abroad and it was easier to snap. But I’ve realised, snap chat is the easiest form of communication because it disappears almost immediately on dm and although there are tricks to save convos and screenshots. That person knows when you’ve screenshotted a message so the safest form is a cheeky voice note.
I spoke to my cousin Serena about talking to Niall. She used to date one of his friends Justin. She paused. “Don’t he live with his babymum?” She quizzed. “No. He moved out. They broke up recently” I corrected “hmmm. Cos he snaps his son EVERYDAY. I’m almost 100% sure he still lives with them” this could explain why he never calls me. Anytime I ask him to he schedules me in and then ends up “falling asleep” so I’ve never physically spoken to him live on the phone.
I was driving home from work today and got a text message from Serena “Yo mate!! This dude is dodgy as fuck. Niall has been sending me voice notes on snap non stop today”
I was annoyed but not surprised. I was annoyed because I wasted good time talking to this guy and thinking he could potentially be a great catch. I was embarrassed because I wasted time talking about how great he was to Serena only for him to prove me wrong by moving to her. I wasn’t surprised because he is a typical lightskinned fuckboy who probably needs more than one chic to massage his ego.
I asked Niall to call me because what I didn’t want to do is send a massive paragraph message which might seem over the top and psychopathic. I have a tendency to get in my feelings at the best of times once I get typing. I am what you call a keyboard warrior🙈
He said he couldn’t call because he’s at work- yet he was texting and sending voicenotes simultaneously which further confirmed this guy is dodgy.
He finally rings me at 6pm. He sounded like he was driving so I told him to call me later when he’s indoors. He said he will be busy later (red flag) and asked if I can just talk now. I said no. “I don’t want you distracted while you’re driving so call me later”. I said. He says okay and hung up.
As time went on I realised he wasn’t going to call me back anytime soon so I thought ‘fuck it’ and decided to just send him my typical psycho message. It was 8 paragraphs long and basically said something along the lines of me knowing he talks to other girls (one of them being my cousin) I have a suspicion he still lives with his sons mother hence his inability to talk on the phone. I don’t have a problem with him continuing to talk to priors until he’s 100% sure about us however I am not okay with him actively seeking the attention from new females while talking to me.
His response was “O WOW”
At that point. I knew I was dealing with a fuckboy! He then said:
“I can’t lie. I’m offended and can’t be bothered to explain myself”
Again- that translates to “shit- you caught me. I have no comeback. So I’ll just make you feel like you’ve gone completely mad and not worthy of an explanation”
I’ve told him I’d like us to quit while we’re ahead as it’s not worth feelings getting involved as I think we are both after different things. He said that’s fine and hopes we can still be cool. I said yes.
I’m disappointed he didn’t ‘fight’ for me or even give me an explanation but I’m glad I got out before I increased my body count and completely got my feelings crushed! Another one bites the dust!
I’ve also got an update on James
After our conversation on what’s app and totally being blind-sighted by the whole “are you married” text. I had to re-read his messages to complete Marriage vs Success and totally missed where he had said “I just wish I was honest with you from the start”
After I completed the blog post I messaged James and asked him what he meant by that message. He said he was at a BBQ at the moment and will message me later but he feels awful and it’s eating him up inside.
The only thing I could think that could be “eating him up inside” is that he’s married. I remember one of his boys shouting out loud “James is married” when we were talking by the pool but in their stag group of 15, there were 3 James’ so I assumed he was talking about another James. I also looked at his wedding ring finger which was bare.
I don’t know how you can ‘look’ married but he just looked like a complete gentleman. I had my suspicions he must have a significant other but put them to a side.
James hadn’t replied to my message so in true psychopathic form I sent him a 3 paragraph long text telling him I knew he was married and he should of just been honest and he is showing true fuckboy qualities. That it’s definitely not just a London thing. It’s international. That it was fucked up that he tried to use reverse psychology on me to ask if I was married when he’s the one who’s spoken for.
He replied the next morning confessing hes been married for 3 years- no kids and he should of been honest. It was just that he really liked me. He said he left his ring back home in Atlanta to get cleaned.
I shut that down and sent him a picture he had sent me the day before of his friends taking pics of him passed out asleep with his ring clearly on his ring finger. He didn’t respond to that message- lol.
He admitted he was so attracted to me he didn’t want to ruin his chances of talking to me. He said he would like if we could still talk every now and then but said he understands if I don’t.
So there we have it ladies. 2 men in 1 week showing their fuckboy behaviour. One who gave me an “o wow” response. The other actually admitting to being taken. I’ve become to used to this I’m so desensitised and almost “expect” for it to go wrong or for guys to lie and screw me over.
On to the next one…